yup...i'm a dork

I was trying to take a pic of myself so I can compare features with the kids...at least ONE of them have to look like me right? Isn't that like the rule of thirds or something? LOL

Resting

There is not much to report. I'm enjoying my time bonding and loving on my little baby boy. He is such a unique little guy and it's been such a wonderful experience to be able to have the time to really get to know him. I was very worried about this time, especially when I have two other young ones to split my attention with. It's been wonderful to have the support and understanding of my family and friends.

Lately I've been healing up and resting, fighting the urge to clean my home and play chasing games with Mads and Jonas. I cannot wait until I am up and about enough to really roughhouse with them, they've been so patient with me over the past months as I was too big and then too sore to be able to really play. Also, I'm really looking forward to exercising again. I miss my running and biking. I continued to bike for 6 miles until I was 36 weeks and walking for 3 miles every other day until I was 40 weeks and yet 5 weeks post birth I am still sore at the end of a long day of swaying and rocking and bouncing a newborn. Of course, I'm also changing toddler diapers and zipping jackets and breaking up fights and carrying sleeping 30+ pound children to bed.

For my birthday we spent the day together as much as possible. Jeremy had to work that day and so he tried to go in early in the morning so he could come home earlier. Of course, all the kids decided to get up around 5am and so I was a tired mess. When he got home, I stole a minute to take a hot shower alone with no little elbows poking me or kids screaming at me. It was heavenly. Afterwards, we ate dinner and had some birthday brownies that the kids helped daddy make. I opened my lovely birthday cards and we watched a movie. I guess when you are 26 birthdays just start to feel like any other day. Although I'm starting to feel older. Perhaps its the responsibility of 3 kids or sore body. Either way, i've got the gray hairs to prove it!

As Thanksgiving approaches, I'd like to take a moment and say that I am so thankful for my friends and family. I am really looking forward to everyone coming to meet Hudson and being able to share this little miracle. The pictures and verbal descriptions really do not do him justice and I just know everyone will be as enamored with him as we are! I know it's been much anticipated on both ends, and I'm so thankful that everyone respected our very tough decision to wait to share him until he was no longer so new.

This year is flying by and I suspect it will continue to do so with amazing pace. Before we know it, it will be 2009 and I will be counting my ENORMOUS *fingers crossed* tax return thanks to my 3 little deductions!

Nov 8th

My family

shhh shhh shhhh baby

I finished!!!!

I decided to make Madelyn's costume this year instead of spending $30 on a branded fairy costume. It turned out great!!! Plus it only cost me like $5 for the tulle, ribbon and fake flowers. We already had the black leotard from last year. I'm so proud of myself, I'm not very crafty and I almost never finish something! I can't wait for her to see it!

Healing and feeling good!

Just a quick update on me!

I'm healing up well! All my muscles, especially in my back are sore and tender and I've been taking it easy the past few days. Jeremy is back at work part-time today, so I've just been hanging out with the kids and trying not to overdo it. I'm pretty tired and having trouble getting naps in during the daytime like I should. Other than that, I'm doing great and am completely in love with my little man.

I really WAS smuggling a pumpkin

hehehe

MW appt

Well we had our latest midwife appt last night. Baby sounds excellent, great position, dropped into the pelvis and ready to go. They are guesstimating him to be about 8.5lb to 9lbs...I've got my money on 9lbs 14oz. Feel free to leave your guess on the comments page, just know that if you guess more than 11 pounds I will have to hunt you down and inflict serious pain upon you.

My blood pressure is getting a wee bit high for me, so I'm supposed to eat more eggs and watermelon and salt (not all at once...ew!) and we've been prescribed a strict regimen of intimacy to convince the baby to come out soon! Apparently my boys like to stay inside for an eternity. A trait I'm sure they get from their Daddy.

Lil jumping bean

He can't seem to decide where to snuggle his head! He moved back down head first on Saturday morning and by Sunday night he was back oblique. After a long walk and lots of positioning ala spinning babies and a warm bath he was back head down which is where he sits at this very moment.

I do hope he comes out very soon! It's full moon time and I'm hoping the old wives tales about that prove to be true in our case! C'mon baby!!!! OUT OUT OUT!

The Moon's effect on Natural Childbirth is a good website that talks about this phenomenon as well as a bit on lunar fertility and sleep cycles.

Please send me some postive thoughts

to get this baby in the right position. As of right now he is



oblique with a shoulder presentation. Unless he moves, we are looking at a cesarean section. *~*~*~*~*~*~*MOVE BABY*~*~*~*~*~*

It's been awhile...

since I've posted. And mostly that's because I have nothing to report. Nothing positive anyway. I'm struggling through these last days. I'm up constantly at night with cramps and contractions that go nowhere. I'm tired. I'm ready for this baby to come out, ready to get started and I feel like I'm in limbo. The anticipation is almost worse than the pains. I say almost because I think the UTI reared it's ugly head again. Either way, "feeling good" is something I haven't experienced in a very long time. I'd even venture out to say that it was a rarity this pregnancy. I'm assured that I will have the most mellow little baby in the world following this, but deep inside I'm worried that the pregnancy was just a precursor to a very high-needs little guy.

At this point tho, I wouldn't care if he was the devil's spawn himself, I want him out. I want to see his little toes. I want to cuddle him. I want to not feel like shit anymore. I want to be able to play with my other kids. Getting up constantly at night feels differently when you are up with the cutest cuddly baby than it feels when you are up with cramps and heartburn every 30 minutes.

I know it's coming. I've been on pins and needles waiting for that first real contraction. By real, I don't mean painful, I've already been having those. I mean real as in continues to progress and ends in a baby, not fizzles out after contracting for days. I'm horrified to think that I could feel this way and worse for another 3 weeks. I was very much hoping this baby would take after his sister and be born last week. Perhaps he won't take after Jonas and wait another 2.5 weeks, perhaps he'll be a due date baby, his own little person. At least the full moon will be in my favor, perhaps in just a few more days I will be holding my little one. I hope so.

Most recent pic

This was last weekend (37 weeks) and I will get a new one soon for this week! I was told my by my friend and chiropractor who has been seeing me every week that I've grown a LOT recently so I'll have to get a new one soon!




I actually had to go out and buy something that would fit me because all my maternity clothes are now TOO SMALL! I've officially entered the "moo-moo" stage ala Homer Simpson

My Mama Blessing

It was such a wonderful gathering of beautiful women. I cannot fully express how it felt, how magical and empowering. I really wish to thank all my friends and family for supporting me and loving me, whether they were physically here or just here in spirit.

I got a very relaxing massage for my feet and legs that used coconut oil, olive oil, sugar, lavender and thyme from my own kitchen and garden. It's amazing how strong my feet and legs have been to support me and my pregnant body and they definitely deserved and enjoyed every minute of it! The baby really liked this part too, he was stretching out and letting me know he was feeling the relaxation hormones too!

We ate a wonderful feast brought by my friends, which again Little One enjoyed very much! He seems to be just like his sister and brother, he loves to eat!

After we all were satiated, I was thinking of how the days of summer were coming to a close just like my pregnancy and with Autumn a new birth will be here. I was given a cup of warm apple cider and apple cinnamon candles as the meditation was read. It is very long, so I cannot type it out here, but it was so beautiful and touching. I do want to share parts of it and describe it for you. It is about how each woman goes through a cycle of menstruation, birth and menopause. Every woman, our ancestors, have taken part in this rite of passage. Their wisdom is in us: in our bones, in our blood, in our hearts. Our bodies know what to do, just as it has done for centuries. The beginning starts "We are here this evening to honor the wondrous event, the incredible transformation, that our friend Dana is in the process of creating...." In the middle, it talks about our ancestors affirmations, Little One was moving around very much and had the hiccups at this point and I was crying. It said:

"There goes all fear you hold about giving birth. The birth will be perfect.

There goes all fear you hold about healing. You will heal beautifully.

There goes all fear you hold about not being a good mother. You will be enough.

There goes all fear of never being creative again. You can have a life of your own.

There goes all the deepest, most private fears you have about giving birth. You will be enough.

YOU will be enough. YOU are strong enough."


We also read "Welcome with Love" by Jenni Overend which is a children's story about homebirth. It's Madelyn's favorite book to read. After the storytelling, we created the birthing necklace. Each mom told why she chose a bead and her blessing for me. There were swirls and hearts and purple beads, charms and stones and beautiful positive thoughts and affirmations. Some beads represented my grandma, some represented nature, some represented my growth into womanhood and my children. There were beads to represent family and friends and love. One of the stones was a Venus of Willendorf made of Rose Quartz, which is the stone of unconditional love and the Venus of Willendorf is an ancient fertility goddess. Another stone was Malachite, which is for healing. Purple hearts and stones for femininity. My friends and family offered me peace and love and clarity and oh so much support. I received pampering gifts of homemade lavender milk baby bath and sitz bath salts, candles and a wreath made from the flower garden of my dear friend who organized my blessingway. There was so much love and so much support, I really hope I haven't left anyone out, but I'm sure I have! Please know that I appreciate and love everyone's contributions, it was all so overwhelming and meant so much to me.




We talked about motherhood and life and nonsense. We put henna on my baby belly and my friends put henna words of encouragement on themselves. It was all so wonderful and will always be such a special memory.

36 weeks

My home visit appointment went well! The baby is in a great position, really low, happy heartbeat and he's guesstimated to be about 7-7.5 pounds. We have the birth kit and tub and are all set to go!

For the past few weeks I've been in a bit of pain. I figured it was my body preparing for labor and that I was having trouble keeping up with the two toddlers in my life. I was feeling very discouraged, the pain was enough to make me doubt the ability to remain pregnant for another 4-6 weeks. I could not remember feeling so DONE this early on and feeling so much like I couldn't do it. Luckily, my MW took my whining to heart and listened to how it was affecting my normal everyday functioning. We found that I have been in pain due to a UTI and now that I'm treating it, I already feel incredibly more able to function. I hope that I can really enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy, savor each moment of alone time I have with my husband and have with my Little One still being safe inside. Each moment I have as Jonas still being my baby. The special time I get to spend with Madelyn, who is so articulate and funny and just fun to be around.

There is an end in sight, it's drawing closer each day and in the end this pregnancy has flown by at a spectacular rate. Before we know it, this Little One will be here and life as we know it will be so different. I know that it will feel like he was always here, always a part of our lives, but for now it seems a strangely odd concept. We are a family of 5. It's something that will take some time to wrap my head around. Something I'm sure will be more tangible once our little baby, with his daddy's eyes and mommy's nose, is here, cooing and cuddling. The anticipation of this journey is overwhelming at times, the excitement, the wonder. Who will this baby look like? What will his personality be? How will Jonas and Madelyn react? Will I ever be able to take a shower alone again? Only time will tell.

Feelings

I've begun nesting. I can feel this overwhelming sense of calmness and love. The softness of the baby diapers, the warmth of the blankets, the smell of the baby shampoo are so so beautiful and wonderful. I tried to capture these feelings of excitement and love on camera. I will continue to capture photos as we are preparing for the arrival of our Little One. Right now I am washing all the baby clothes and items, next week is our home visit from our Midwives and they will be bringing my birth supplies and birth tub. After that, the baby can come at any time.


The changing area


The diapers


First Outfit


Tiny soft socks


First bath


Wall Art to focus on during labor


The washcloths that will be used during labor


The labor candle and heart shaped rock found by Madelyn

Time to take a breath

This past week Little One had decided to flip breech and kick me in the bladder, day in, day out. Not only was it uncomfortable, with the constant heartburn and pressure on my ribs, unable to take in a full breath, getting winded walking to the kitchen and back, it was also stressful. Breech babies mean maneuvers and positioning and hearing the dreaded C word (that's Cesarean for all you non-childbearing folk).

Then two nights ago, I felt it. The thumping, squirming, squiggly, pushing, stretching, rotating, swirling and relief...sweet sweet relief. I can breath a sigh of relief, I can actually breath! And with the turning came the engagement, the dropping of his sweet little head way down into the pelvis. Sure, it adds a little pressure down there and yes I threw a thorough pregnancy hissy fit at CVS yesterday when I had to wait for an eternity until an employee unlocked the secret employee area for me to use the bathroom.

This pressure is greeted with heartfelt welcome. It is a sign that things are progressing, my baby is preparing for our journey ahead. I've seen other signs too. The stores are selling autumn decorations, Halloween treats, all reminders of when I was awaiting Madelyn's October birth. The leaves are starting to change colors, my garden watermelons are ripening. The weather is changing from the humidity of summer and long days, to shorter days of breezy coolness. My body is changing too. The colostrum is now being produced, the braxton hicks are getting more uncomfortable, and the asking others if they could possibly go pee or eat for me while they're up because I'm just too tired to get up and do it myself. My mind is cluttered with lists and projects that will surely go unfinished before Little One's arrival. But my heart is ready. My body is preparing. And each day, with each little kick, my excitement grows. Just a few more weeks Little One. Few more weeks and then you get your own blog page.

My Blessingway

"A Blessingway is a wonderful ritual for the mother-to-be. It celebrates her step in motherhood (or motherhood again!) Baby showers are a lot of fun and they are a wonderful way to gift new parents things they need for the baby. A blessingway, however, is a unique way to honor the mother.

During the gathering, friends (and family) of the mother come together to give her support and encouragement as she waits for labor to begin. It is a wonderful and affirming time for her.

Oftentimes the friends at the ceremony agree that as soon as they receive word labor has begun they will say a prayer and light a candle for the mother. This support can mean so much to a laboring woman." info found here

My blessingway is at the end of September and I would be honored if anyone would like to participate, even long distance. Basically, we will be making a birthing necklace, lighting some candles and wearing a yarn/string bracelet until I give birth. You can participate or not in any of those things.

How the birthing necklace works is each mom picks a bead, something that is representative of something special to them. In the past, I've seen beads that are like big O's for the ooooooh noises of childbirth, or ones that look like placentas or ones that look like leaves on a tree for a recent documentary a mom saw on a tribe that all birthed in a hollowed out sacred tree. Spiral ones for spiraling hips or blue ones for the ocean or for having a boy. Ones that remind of peace or love or anything. It can be purple simply because it's your favorite color. Just anything that speaks to you. You can send that bead to me, with something that says why you chose it and then also a blessing. Some blessings I've heard is for a peaceful labor, a strong bond, a healing birth, a sensual birth, healthy baby, happy mommy, peaceful postpartum ETC. Then at the blessingway, we add your bead to the necklace and it's something I wear or have near while birthing.

The candles are for you to keep and light when I go into labor. You can light it and send me some happy vibes!

The yarn or string is something for you to wear on your wrist (as long as it doesn't get really annoying lol) and to remind you of me and to think of me and send me labor vibes throughout the day until I go into labor. This is something I've done for other blessingways, and it's really neat for about a week LOL

I would love for my birthing necklace beads to be a surprise, so if anyone would needs my address please call my mom, Jeremy's mom or email Jeremy.

Thank you to everyone who wants to be a part of it!

Gratitude

I'm grateful for:

1. The weather changing. The hotness and humidity have been draining and I welcome the smells of autumn, the colors and my ripening watermelons. It also means I'm much closer to meeting my new babe!

2. Exercising! We went to the state park and did a 3 mile hike and yesterday we hit the the trail and rode 6 miles on the bike! I feel so much more alive when I'm active and I appreciate how hard my body works for me and regain trust in my self and what my body is capable of performing. It's a really good feeling to see the look on my husbands face when I join him in riding, which is something he is passionate about. I'm grateful that he wants to share it with me, and that I got over my fear of riding and really enjoy it!

3. The little people I spend my day with. They really are amazing. Just to watch them grow, learn and love. They teach me so much.

4. My husband. I can't even say enough about this man. He's the most understanding and unconditionally loving person. I owe him so much and yet he never asks for anything. Just me being a part of his life is all he wants from me, and at times it's really all I have to give him. He's also taught me so much about love and friendship and patience and understanding.

5. My friends. It really means so much that you all take the time out of your days to listen to me gripe about mine. Just hearing that I'm not alone, the validation, the understanding from another woman, heals so much. I am grateful to be on my motherhood journey with all of you!

6. My baby. He reminds me everyday how precious life is. Whenever I'm feeling in a funk he kicks as if to say "hey ma, snap out of it!" and I know that every moment of this pregnancy has been worth it, that each difficulty I've encountered was for a purpose. In fact, I laughed at my vision board yesterday, because I had a bunch of stuff on there to have a healthy pregnancy and in the beginning I was eating terribly. The universe brought my sugar problems to the forefront because I asked for it, and I am grateful for that. It has been a struggle to learn different habits, but in the end, it is well worth the effort.

7. My family. It so awesome to know that I can call anytime and they will be there for me. I know if I ever needed them they'd be here in a heartbeat and they know I feel the same. It's been a journey into adulthood that hasn't always been easy and sometimes it's been downright awful. In the end, none of those times really amount to anything in comparison to the love, the fun and the joy I feel when I get to be around them. I only wish it could be more often.

8. Cucumbers. Yup. I pull like 6 huge ones from the garden daily. And I'm grateful because not only do I enjoy cucumbers, I'm going to use them to lure people in to visiting me :) So if anyone wants some yummy fresh from the garden cukes, I'm handing them out in payment for a few hours of chit-chat!

Only 50 days to go!!!!

Just went for the 33 week midwife appt yesterday. Everything is great! After my last post begging baby to flip, he decided to flip all the way into a breech position. That was even more uncomfortable! A few nights ago, he decided to get back into a better position and yesterday at our appointment he was in a really great place. He was fully awake and his heartbeat was 156-162. My blood sugars have been doing better, with a 30 day average of 115, and I've been cutting down on how often I test for my own sanity. Last week it was horribly humid and so I didn't get out to exercise as often as I'd like, but today seems to be the start of a beautiful week. It is currently 59 degrees out! Last night we went to a state park nearby and walked and let the kids play at the playgrounds and just talked. It seems we are both overwhelmed with all the upcoming events and also with everything going on lately. Only 4-9 more weeks!!! We can do it! Although I am REALLY hoping this one takes after his sister and is born early at 38wks rather than Jonas who didn't appear until 41.5 weeks LOL

Our next appt is in 3 weeks, it's the home visit when the MW's will be coming over and having dinner with us. At that time, they will be bringing the birth supplies and birth tub. It really seems like it's getting so close now! I'm very excited and can't wait to meet our little one and not be pregnant anymore but I'm also nervous about how everything is going to go!

Dear Baby

I realize that our time as one is drawing to an end and your days of carefree floating are soon to be disrupted by hunger, bright lights and loud siblings. I do hope your last weeks are comfy and cozy but I ask you, no beg you, please....stop with the midnight rib kicking. I know you still have time left to turn into proper positioning, but frankly, I'm not digging the current LOP (left occiput posterior) spot you've claimed this last week. It causes me to have constant heartburn, sharp shooting pains in my cervix, charlie horse-like ligament pains, painful braxton hicks contractions that are centered in my lower back and worse, flashbacks of your older sisters posterior birth. Sure, you get to punch me in the bladder when in that position and your siblings can't gouge you while jumping all over me...but PLEASE...turn around.

Warmly,
Your Mommy

30.5weeks along now!

I love the "Mom you so crazy!!!" Look on Madelyn's face


"Put your shirt down!" the neighbors can see!

Breakfast

This morning for breaky I'm having some self-made Almond Butter & Blueberry Oat Bran with a splash of Lactose-free milk which was inspired after reading this article about taste-testing milk and milk alternatives. Regular milk is full of lactose sugar which sends my blood glucose thru the roof. 30g Carbs, 18g Protein for the eats and they are pretty tasty. Even Jonas is trying to get some of the action.

I've been doing pretty well with my new eat habits. Yesterday was my worst day, I had 2 bites of the ultra moist chocolate cupcakes and a few licks of the frosting fingers I had while making it. Hey, it's hard to not lick frosting off your fingers and I would do it automatically before thinking about it! Check out Jonas' blog later this week for cupcake pictures and party pics! Of course after the lunch-time cupcake celebration, we decided to go to the State Fair. Considering the usual fair fodder, I didn't do *too* bad, I ate a sirloin steak sandwich sans bun, only had a few sips of a lemonade shake-up and did ask if they could cut most of the sugar out (which they said NO) so I just drank less of it than I would normally. Then I had a "Philly" Cheese Steak Sandwich, which I was sure they should have quoted the "cheese" part because at first I thought it was mayo. I did eat the bun on that one, and my blood sugar let me know by the mood swings, headaches and 46pts hike above my "never go above this line" measures when I got home. The kids had a great time tho...I will update our fair trip later this week too, when I get time to go thru the pictures.

What I'm reading these days...

"The American Way of Birth" by Jessica Mitford. It covers such fascinating topics like doctors who have 75% cesarean section rates over the winter holidays, rich people having more cesareans than the poor health deprived population, the invention and demise of forceps, the tortures inflicted upon women since the medieval times, sutures with no anesthesia performed 30 times on a single slave woman and others and the various kinds of drugs used to lesson the curse of Eve. All that, and I'm only halfway through!

This book has brought out feelings of sadness, horror, disgust, interest and outrage! I cannot believe that the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology have known since the 1990's that electronic fetal monitoring "do not offer outcome advantages over auscultation via stethoscope" due to studies done at that time and in fact "a significant increase in the rate of operative deliveries, both vaginal and abdominal, was reported in women who recieved continuous electronic fetal monitoring....Cesarean delivery rate was also significantly increased." And yet in 2004 I was continuously monitored during Madelyns birth. FORCED to lie on my back during a horrendous posterior birth for fear of losing the heartbeat print-out, causing me to beg for drugs that had me forget almost all of Madelyns first moments, caused Madelyn to need suctioning, and required an episiotomy that pained me for months....FOR NO REASON...

Definitely trying out this recipe!

Why? Because I am sick of eggs for breakfast. Scrambled, fried, boiled. BLECH. So so tired of eggs. Plus, it looks absolutely scrumptious!

I yanked it from Blaine's Low Carb Kitchen off of Fit TV

Low-Carb Pancakes with Blackberry Syrup and sausage

Pancakes:
1 cup soy flour
1/4 cup wheat flour
4 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp. low carb sweetener (i'll be using stevia)
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 eggs
1 1/2 cup half and half
3 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Syrup:
1 cup blackberries
1 - 2 tsp. butter
1/4 cup low carb syrup (i may omit the syrup)



Pancake Preparation:(approximately 2.5 net carbs per pancake)
Beat oil, eggs, vanilla extract and half and half in a large bowl with a wire whip. Sift in dry ingredients and beat batter until smooth. Don't worry about over-mixing. Preheat large frying pan over medium-medium high heat. Spray pan liberally with canola cooking spray. Spoon a generous tablespoon of batter into pan making sure pancakes don't touch. Flip pancake when bubbles start to form on top. Cook about 2 minutes each side.

Syrup Preparation:
Heat blackberries and butter over low heat. Mash berries with back of spoon. Add low-carb syrup and warm. Serve over pancakes or low carb French toast.

Yields 6 servings (3 pancakes each) with syrup and two links of sausage - approximately 9.5 net carbs per serving

Frustrating!!!

Partially the new diet has worked wonders for many things: noticeable difference in my moods and energy levels and also the puffiness, that I hadn't even noticed until is was gone, in my face, wrists and ankles has vanished!
This was taken about a week before I started the diet (by Madelyn...she's such a good photographer!)


And this was taken about a week after starting


The difference is very noticeable!

This diet is still very much a work in progress as proven by my recent spilling of ketones into my urine. This happens when the body isn't getting enough carbs/sugar or calories and so it will burn up fat to access the sugar needed for the baby to grow. Normally, this isn't a horrible thing, if you are dieting and it's what Atkins Dieters strive for. During pregnancy, this is NOT a good thing, it causes your body to think it's in starvation mode and the ketones circulating in your blood cause acidosis that can harm the babe, if it stays at high levels for a long period of time. So I am trying to find a good balance of not eating too much sugars but making sure that I do eat enough. It's also interesting to note that since cutting out the processed junk, I'm now not getting enough salt in my diet! Salt is important, especially right now as my blood volume has just doubled and I never realized how much sodium I got in from junk food. I've been having to add salt where I can to help keep the ankle swelling to a minimum and keep my blood pressure up where it should be. I guess cutting out the 1660mg of sodium I ate from having 2 McChicken sandwiches really changes things!

This morning I am having turkey sausage links and Steel Cut Oatmeal with cinnamon (a proven spice that helps with blood sugars! who knew?!?!?!?) and stevia. If you haven't tried stevia I HIGHLY recommend it! It comes in different flavors and is very sweet. The best part is that it doesn't effect your blood sugars, has 0 calories, and since it's a plant it's all natural. They sell it at health food stores and I've even found it at Meijer, although it's in the supplements aisle because the FDA forbids it to be labeled as "food" so it's a "dietary supplement". I have vanilla flavor in my oatmeal and grape flavor in my water right now. I have a feeling that if I got some bubbly water and added grape (or any other flavor...i've seen root beer flavor too!) that it would be better than grape soda.

So we are chugging along. 10-ish more weeks of this ultra strict diet, after which I will still want and need to modify my eating habits, just not as drastically. Jeremy is being very supportive, and even feels guilty for buying himself Mt. Dew at work or McDonalds for lunch. I didn't expect him to start eating like me, afterall he's his own person and has normal blood sugar, but he's started to adopt a lot of my (hopefully soon to be) habits and lost a few pounds in the process! He's also helped to take away some of the stress of meals by making dinners and helping me to plan my meals. I can't say that I'm not totally bummed about not partaking in cake eating celebrations next week for Jonas' birthday, but I'm hoping that watching him devour it will be a good enough time to make up for it!

Pregnancy update

For the past 10 days (and counting!!!) I've been making some major dietary changes. At the last appointment with my midwives we discussed how tired I've been, my current weight gain and ways to improve my diet. What I eat is already pretty healthy and upon examining my food journal, we couldn't figure out why I feel the way I do. They suggested I get my blood sugar checked, based on my previous PCOS condition and the insulin resistance that came with it. The tests showed what we were worried about, my body is very close to diabetic levels and that explains so much of the symptoms I've been struggling with this pregnancy. I've been testing my blood sugars regularly and I'm very pleased to say that my averages are doing very very well now! I really miss eating the occasional ice cream or cookie and especially miss pasta, potatoes, breads, milk and fruit. I *can* have any of those things, very sparingly and linked with a protein. So far I've only tested bread and a little milk on some All Bran Extra Fiber cereal that tasted like cat food. It's been a very hard transition, one that was a long time in the making since I've needed to do this 5 years ago when I was diagnosed but never made the step out of denial and self-pity to do it. I still whine a little when Jeremy gets to drink juice or they are having pasta and I'm eating my umpteenth salad, but I've got so much more energy and am overall feeling great for being 30 weeks pregnant. I think the biggest motivator for me is that I do NOT want to be an insulin dependent diabetic, especially not during pregnancy because that warrants a complete system managed hospital birth, including induction at 38 weeks. A pleasant bonus is that I've actually lost 3 pounds, which isn't a big deal since I've got extra padding and have already gained quite a bit.

It's hard to not focus on the things I cannot eat, especially if we stop to get fast food or go to a restaurant, but I am enjoying trying new foods that I probably never would've given a second glance otherwise. Here is a picture of the delicious dinner I made tonight! In olive oil I let some garlic and onion sweat, browned the chicken breasts, deglazed the pan with red wine vinegar, added a can of stewed and diced tomatoes and mushrooms, cooked the juices out, added chicken back, topped with mozzarella and parmesan and broiled in the oven until the mozzarella was brown and bubbly. The salad was a mix of romaine, mustard greens and boston butter lettuce (TRY THIS...the texture and taste are remarkable!) with cucumbers from our garden, tomatoes, bacon bits, pine nuts and caesar dressing.

The Essence of the Placenta

Okay so I've been debating...lotus birth vs. placentaphagia. Raw or dried? Obviously, to quote a fellow MDC mom, "I'd eat rancid chicken poop if that meant I didn't have to suffer PPD again", but it's more than that.

Admittedly, the thought of leaving rotting meat on my new baby until it detaches itself is not in line with the rosy cheeks and sleepy smiles I envision the first few days with babe to consist of. And so Lotus birth, until now, has always been thought of as a spiritual practice in my mind. The placenta with its nurturing essence left unfettered to the newest spirit to arrive in this world. It is only when the need for this attachment slowly fades away that this fleshy life-giver releases itself. It shows the very heart of patience, caring for both your baby and placenta, staying submerged in your babymoon until such time that the child decides the need for connection is gone. A symbiotic parallel to the very core of childhood, showing the inherent dependency and child-led gradual loving release that occurs in all of the basic fundamentals of life with child. It is the true embodiment of pregnancy, birth and mothering. Spiritual, yes, and yet it is MORE.

Lotus birth babies are "demonstrably more relaxed and peaceful babies who do not manifest the common (and stressful to baby and mother) 1 lb. newborn weight loss and breastfeeding jaundice that is associated with the first week of life after "normal" birth's cord cutting, particularly cord cutting within an hour of birth. These intact Lotus babies lose no energy just trying to stabilize their systems in the early postpartum hours and this shows on all levels (relaxation, bountiful healthy weight gain, core muscle strength, fine & gross motor skills, and alert observation of the world around them). (more information available HERE including ways to salt and scent the drying placenta) In addition to this, Lotus babies are said not to get jaundice and the cord, having not been severed and displaying an open wound, heals within about 3 days.

The most remarkable beauty of a lotus birth is to see the baby grasping its cord, mirroring the utero pastime, while nursing contentedly. Mothers have reported their babies never crying in those quiet post birth days until a few moments before the cord releases. Other mom's have enjoyed witnessing such feats of understanding such as the placenta pulsing while nursing and the baby waking when the placenta is lightly touched.

Chimpanzees practice Lotus Birth, however it is well known that mammals, including vegetarian, will ingest the placenta after birth. Placentaphagia, or eating the placenta, shares its essence with the birthing mother; a ritual thought to keep predators away. If this were indeed the only reason, then each mother would also ingest all of her leaking amniotic fluids because this is also very heavily scented. The placenta has many nutritional, as well as, emotional benefits. It restores hormones, specifically oxytocin: the same hormone the surges during passionate lovemaking, birth and breastfeeding. It replenishes lost iron, and can greatly aid in postpartum depression, mood swings, insomnia and give energy. This practice is well documented in Chinese medicine and is unfortunately another misguided facet of western society.

Eating the placenta raw, like many of the most nutrient-rich foods, gives the consumer the most benefits, and I've even read research that this includes stopping postpartum hemorrhage. A wonderful smoothie recipe a friend bestowed upon me is: frozen bananas, blueberries, strawberries, 2 walnut sized flesh fruit (your amazing placenta), apple juice and red raspberry leaf tea, blended. You can also make up extra packets to enjoy this drink for days after your birth. It is said to be better than “Jamba Juice”. Other preparations include dehydrating, grinding and encapsulating the placenta which still gives you wonderful benefits, based on the testimony of many mothers. And yet still others prefer to take tiny pieces raw and swallow them whole.

Isn't it amazing what the placenta is able to do, especially when our culture regards this giver of life as medical waste? It has grown and nurtured a life and we just toss it away like so much of the trash in our consumer driven lives. There are many ways to receive the essence of the placenta, but who should it go to...the baby or the mother? Lotus birth or Placentaphagia? Either way, the Essence of the Placenta is worth pondering.

Cleaning fun stuffs

Ah, my Bissell Steam Mop. It is truly one of my favorite cleaning stuffs. It uses NO chemicals, no soaps....just water!!! I can clean and SANITIZE all the floors in the kitchen and bathroom and foyer, and that's important when you have two toddlers and a dog! Anything that happens to be stuck on the floor from the night before, you just hold the mop over it for 5 seconds and it comes off very easily. No scrubbing! Plus, since it is steaming, the water evaporates quickly so I only have to banished the family from slippery spots for less than 5 minutes. This item has definitely made my cleaning routine much easier and more enjoyable!

I entered this contest today:

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)


wish me luck!!!

Top 5 reasons to have 3 kids

5. You can get out of being slapped in the head by toddlers because you now have enough children to play Duck, Duck, Goose by themselves.

4. You are a pro at changing diapers while simultaneously soothing boo-boo's and talking on the phone, so adding a nursing baby seems easy-peasy.

3. You no longer have the first-timers naivety or the fear of how to add a sibling, #3 just gets tossed on the pile of knees and elbows already using you as a jungle gym.

2. You can finally live your dream of forming a family pop group called the Gerrits Five.

1. Your older children are so excited to meet their new sibling and play pretend babies and have the sweetest budding relationship with themselves and with their new baby that memories of them fighting don't really seem that important anymore.

Madelyn took this pic! It's a little blurry but I think she did a great job making sure we were in the picture!

I'm usually the one behind the camera so there aren't too many pix of me and the kiddos. My friends from middle school in Germany (I know crazy!!!) came to visit and snapped this shot. Madelyn is 3 months shy of 4 years old and Jonas is about 1 month shy of 2. I am just about 28wks preggers, which is 7 lunar months. Seeing my childhood friends again reminded me of how much things have changed in my life. It's crazy to think that I am the mother of these two children with one on the way and I'm going to be 26 years old this year. Time sure flies!!!

Experiment #2

Yum Yum Oatmeal

This morning I decided to make up some oatmeal ala Deceptively Delicious. Generally, I make my steel cut oats and toss in some sugar and milk and call it good. Today, I mixed in butternut squash puree, peanut butter and various other tasty goodies and it turned out wonderful! In fact, there is no picture because we ate it all. I think I will need to make a full batch next time, instead of my usual half-batches. Even the kids devoured it!

Experiment #1

Butternut Squash French Toast

The kids had already been munching on some cereal before I got around to making breakfast this morning so I wasn't expecting them to eat too much, but they each ate about half and I think that's a thumbs up! We used up some super dry multigrain bread, each slice having 1 whole egg but only a few tablespoons of puree. Other than the sugar and syrup, the rest of this meal was pretty healthy, especially with the flax meal sprinkled on top for extra omega-3's! Personally, I didn't think this meal was spectacular, but it was very edible and I'm not one for breakfast foods, especially ones where the egg gets brown in the cooking method, so that really does say a lot. You could only taste a hint of the squash, and I think the offsetting flavor was more to the bread I used (i believe i crunched into a bit of rye seeds...not something you generally expect to taste with syrup) than the recipe itself. All in all, 2 slices was more than enough to satisfy, it was yummy and not too sweet and it was packed full of good stuffs and not expensive to make so I give it 4 ****

You put squash in WHAT!?!?!?

In an effort to cook healthier meals and get more veggies in, I've been devouring books about the subject. I happened across this idea from Deceptively Delicious and decided to try it out! What kinds of things can you hide extra veggies in? Purdy darn near evra'thing. Meatloaf, spaghetti, chili, chicken nuggets....even desserts like brownies. And what pregnant lady doesn't like brownies? (even if they have spinach in them!)

The lovely purees - carrot, butternut squash, broccoli, red/yellow peppers and cauliflower - took me about 2 hours to steam, puree, label and clean up. Not bad for my first time, and it allowed for a lovely family time with Madelyn and Jeremy (Jonas was snoozing). Perhaps it was merely a ploy to say out of bed a little longer, but Madelyn assured me the broccoli puree was scrumptious and she couldn't possibly go to bed without just one more bite. Of course her and I are fans of veggies, although we tend to stick to the top 5 - corn, potato, green beans, lettuce, tomatoes - it's the boys in our household that tend to leave them on the plate. You can't even mention the possibility of cooked carrots on the menu without a deep loathing stare from Jeremy.

So here's to a new experiment. We'll see how it pans out and if its worthwhile!

Ode to a brother

where gone have the days went,
when we used to be friends
we traveled the world
and with eachother found ourselves

I understood you and you I
it was unspoken knowledge
every tear, every smile
inseparable, miserable, joyful bliss

Endless days of playing
of bickering
silly songs to entertain
made up games and made up stories

Where is that moment?
the knowing in the midst of upheaval
that you would be my person
my confidant, my friend

Growing and ever changing
our lives have become so separate
and yet I feel our bond
it's slipping away in the torrents of time

Where are you my brother?
Playing games I can no longer watch
telling stories I cannot hear
I miss you.

3rd Trimester!

6 Lunar Months preggo!

My LOVES

right back atcha!

My new baby....